we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
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He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
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Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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