You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
