Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
