my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Someone came in the potted fern
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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