i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
