You just made me feel so damn special
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
