she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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