question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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