I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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