hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
