you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Your penis caused this!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
