After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
