i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
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