I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
