WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I need to calm my uterus...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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