she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Randomize
