she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
