with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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