I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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