I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
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