porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize