i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Randomize