Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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