we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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