is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize