now i know why i became what i already was.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
