i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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