I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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