My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
