Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Floor bacon is actually really good
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
