Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
third nipple confirmed
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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