ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
