Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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