it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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