I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
