I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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