It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i will never coherently bang her
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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