he wants to bone in the snuggie
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
