There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
