How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
