i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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