An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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