Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
