Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
