question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
