life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
