Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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