I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
