I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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