If that was your dad, he is hot
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself