I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.