White coat. Heels.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
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He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
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Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx