Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
