Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
