don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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