Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
