i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
