Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
worst night to have a conscience
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize