so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
