Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
