walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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