I'm jealous of your bromance
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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