Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
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So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
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I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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