Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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